The Distance...

"And just so you know The distance is what's killing me Time and space have become the enemy And what I need is so far away And so it goes The distance makes it hard to breathe My heart won't let go easily I don't want to be this far away" So that is the chorus of the song that is currently on repeat in my headphones tonight... The song? "The Distance" the band? Hot Chelle Rae. The reason? I'm tired... And everything I coming over me in floods as I lay here in my bed. There are many things in my life that I can't change. And those seem to be the things that haunt me.. Also, one of my best friends/cousins is in the Dominican Republic right now and i cant talk/text her... Which is tough because she is one of the people I go to on days like today. Trust me, we have MAJOR ups and downs, but we really are tight. An she helps me keep things in perspective.. I think that's what I need right now, a little perspective. Well the good news is that tomorrow is a new day. And while I can't change the ending today, I can change how tomorrow will start. And that's all I need. Our Lord is one of forgiveness... Sometimes not than we deserve. But he's there when no one else is for me.. Im not sure if it would be very beneficial to me or you, my dear readers, for me to continue to ramble tonight.. So for now, I bid you farewell. Try to get some sleep for me! -A

Lost...

"everybody has a dark side, do you love me? Can you love mine? Nobody's a picture perfect but WE'RE worth it, yes we're worth it..." So that song may say we're worth it, but today, I'm doubting that I am. I feel like I unknowingly hurt a person who is really close to me... I don't even know how I did it, but I guess the damage is done... And that feeling kills me... Looks like its going to be a long night awake tonight... I'm sorry.. And I know sorry can't ever be enough..

Hmmm...

I feel like i have the midday blues... nothing really seems to be going quite right... Although it might just be the weather.. Could it be that i'm the one causing all this? Maybe. As it is, I'd like to fix what's been done.. or at least try to help. Because i'm not really sure whats going on.. Man i am completely rambling now... Forgive me, because i realize these past few posts have been a bit, dramatic and pointless. I promise to get back to the usual soon! Although, now that i think about it, I haven't had this blog long enough to really have a "usual". In any case, I'll get back to jabbering about useful things, instead of my pointless drama-filled life. Until we meet again! -A

Melodramatic Post... Actually no, it's just stupid.

"How do you get her under my skin? I swore that I'd never let you back in. Shoulda known better, than trying to let you go cause here we go go go again..." I can already tell its going to be a long day.. Why is it that no matter what I say I'm wrong? I mean seriously. But anyway, I'm just ready for this next month to be over so I can go ahead and live my life how I want to. I wont have to see people I don't want to see, or talk to people who really just don't care. I'm just tired. Of everything actually. I just want to make it through today so I can pass out tonight.. Now Playing? Here we go again by Demi Lovato. "I threw all of your stuff away,and i cleared you out of my head. I tore you out of my heart and ignored all your messages.i tell everyone we are thru, because I'm so much better without you."

Role Models continued...

So I feel like I didn't elaborate in my last post as to why I look up to demi.. So to broaden your view into my head, I i look up to her is because I can relate.. She dealt with issues that so many teenages go thru everyday but neve get the courage to get help. And, while most people don't know me well enough to see inside, I can understand the reason she did the things she did.. Okay, enough jabbering on my part.. Take te time to get to know the people around you. You'll be surprised at what you find out.

Role models...

When most people speak of role models the mention their mom or dad, maybe a coach or a favorite teacher.. And while I do look up to my mom and one of my teachers, I have to say that someone I look up to is Demi Lovato.. Laugh if you want, makes jokes I don't really care. She has gone thru more in he 19 years of life than some people go through their whole life. And she's taken responsibility for her faults and the things she's done wrong. She's gotten help for her health issues and shes showed that there is hope for anyone... I dot know about you people, but I'd rather look up to someone who owns their faults then someone who tries to hide them. And it just so happens that my song of the night is both "Fix a Heart" and "Skyscraper" by the one and only Demi Lovato.. "Well I just ran out of bandaids, I don't even know here to start. But you can bandage the damage, you never really can fix a heart." "go on an try to tear me down, I will be rising from the ground, like a Skyscraper."

Conflicted...

The title says it all... It's on 8:43 in the morning and I'm already in a tizzy. But then Skyler Grey has come to save me once again. I love her voice! And her unedited original version of the song "Coming Home" gives me goosebumps. The piano music in the background is so beautiful an her voice is just sweet and low.. It's great for the morning. And speaking of "Sweet and Low" I love that song by Augustana. It's worth your time if you look it up. Well, I need to calm the pounding in my head so I'll conclude here and post more later.

Slow down..

Tonights post is a little late, and it's probably going to be pretty short.. My message to whoever chooses to read this is when to get the chance, take a look around you. Our society is moving 10,000 miles per hour and there is no sign of slowing down. We are, on a daily basis, missing the little things in life. The things that really when you notice them, make life worth living. Like that flower in the sidewalk crack, living in the most in opportune place. Or that man with a guitar on the corner who isn't looking for money, he's just sitting there singing about everyone around him, trying to brighten people's day. Or even how beautiful the grass is when it has just rained and the sun is shining on it. In the world it feels like everyone is always go, go, going somewhere; only thinking about me me me. Just think, what would happen if everyone made a time in their day to just sit and watch the sky. Or simply do something nice for a stranger. This world doesn't have to be filled with hate. In fact, there is no reason it can't be filled with love besides our refusing to take the time to appreciate everything we have.. And that includes family. I guess the last thing I want to leave you with is this: when was the last time you sat down with your family and just chatted? Do you even know what your siblings favorite song is anymore? When was the last time you talked to your parents? When you get down to it, family is all you have. Don't take any second you can spend with them for granted, because one day you won't have them by your side. Take a second, look around, and Slow Down... Now playing? Turning Home- by David Nail

Lame...

So it's 9:20 on a Friday night and where am I? Partying with friends you might ask? Eating dinner with family maybe? Or perhaps out seeing a movie with my beau of the week? If you were actually thinking any of these things you are very wrong and outlandishly overestimate my social life. I am actually currently laying on my bedroom floor with a new playlist playing in the background as I type this. Now THAT is a party.. Or something. Well anyway, in this post I'd like to say some words to the people out there who feel rejected, those who feel like they can never get it right or those who don't believe in themselves. Even to all of those people out there right now who are wishing they were someone else, or maybe that they weren't even here. To all those who have been bullied, misunderstood, looked down on and pushed aside. My message to you is that you aren't alone in this fight. I know from experience that it sure seems like it.. Some days it still feels like there is no reason to be there. But all of you out there are strong enough to prove those "bullies" or those things that hold you back wrong. You can handle anything. You are beautiful, even when you feel like no one could ever love you. Even when you just want to Lay down and cry with your hair a mess while wearing sweatpants and an old tshirt. I know what it's like to just want to give up. So if any of you people out there that might be reading this need someone to talk to, someone to listen, I'm here. Also. Know that you are important, because you weren't put on this Earth for nothing. You have a purpose. You are loved. Now Playing? "The End" by Mayday Parade --> "how can you think that any of this was easy? With all the friends I've lost along the way. When this is over we're all getting older now. And we all play a part in it. Innocence is falling, can you hear them calling now? But I'll be by your side until the End.".

Drama? Oh right, you mean prom...

Too. Much. Drama. And all For one night.. It's ridiculous. I mean, my group of friends is probably the worst when it comes to planning things. And prom is no exception to that. Prom is a week away and it seems like its just one thing after another. I'm excited for it, but I'm more than ready for it to be over. A little lesson for any of you out there ready this? Less is more. Unless your talking about music or chocolate, in which case more is always better. Now playin? "The Silence" by Mayday Parade.. It's one of those days for sure. Just can't wait to get out of school and clear my head. "and the silence will set you free..."

Time after... Well, maybe not.

"if you're lost you can look and you will find me, Time after time. If you fall I will catch you ill be waiting, time after time." Oh Cyndi Lauper definitely got it right with this song. But one of my favorite covers of it is Colton Dixons from American Idol. His voice is so.... Ahhh(: I could listen to it for hours. But I love the words in this song even more. It can be kind of hard to swallow sometimes because in today's world many people aren't in your life for the long haul.. They Aren't going to be there "time after time". I feel like we live in a society of high expectations but no fall through. Idk.. I guess I just feel that way because of the lost feeling I get some days.. Well that's enough for now.. If youre curious about my praises of Colton Dixons voice, just listen for yourself! Enjoy(:

Just A Few...

"Some of the best things in the world:
-sleeping in late
-having no homework
-blocking out the world with your favorite song
-being loved
-recieving hand written letters
-the first swim of the summer
-a smile from someone special
-when people laugh at your jokes
-when you get texted first
-looking at pictures from when you were little
-being called beautiful
-when someone tells you they never want to lose you
-finding those jeans that fit perfectly
-making a stranger smile
-listening to your favorite band
-putting on sweatpants after wearing jeans all day
-winning an argument
-knowing deep down that you will be okay, even if not today..."

New Things..

So today several things have happened that I didn't expect for this drab Thursday. First, I didn't sleep through the first few periods of school. Which for me and my insomnia lately is a feat within itself. Second, I found a band that I am in love in now. It's the band Lydia. Particulurly the song "Stay Awake" off of their album "Illuminate". "So stay awake and I'll stay/ I try and go, but your game/ It waits for me and you, love/ So cover up for the rain/ you see in way too much safety/ cause I don't stand a chance/ any longer than you do my friend/ cause we sure know best/ now that you're gone.". I'm not 100% sure why, but I am just loving their sound. I wish I had found them sooner! But anyway, the third thing that surprised me today was that I went Tux shopping for my date to prom. I had never been to a tux shop before haha. But there is a first for everything! Anyway, it was a fun experience, and I am now almost ready for prom. People can surprise you. I wish I could surprise myself and get over some things that are still holding me back from everything I could be. But that's what music is for for me. (: I'm sure i'll be posting more later tonight, so for now I'll just say until later instead of goodbye.

That Feeling...

You know that feeling of being totally alone even when you are surrounded by people? That's what I'm feeling right now. I know Tht I'm not truly alone, but sometimes this just pile up and I can't breathe, can't think, can't move.. Today's just, odd. So my song of the moment is "How to Love" by Lil Wayne, but the cover of it by Demi Lovato. "see I had a lot of moments that didn't last forever, now I'm in this corner trying to put together how to love.." such a good song. Sometimes I think I'm too stubborn to get help. It's not a pride thing. It's a.. Well a ME thing. Idk.. More later.

Short Morning Post...

So this morning I woke up to the song "Drive By" by Train. I. Love. That. Song. I mean come on, who wouldn't want to hear "oh I swear to ya, I'll be there for ya this is not a drive by.". Anyway, it made me get out of bed. Sometimes though, I'm so exhausted that the last thing I want to do is get up, but then a good song will come on and it'll give me a reason to be awake. And I love that. Too bad school has to get in the way of my beautiful day.. Oh well, it's almost the weekend! So I think I'll be able to survive for two more days.. Have a good morning(: P.s. besides Drive By, two of my favorite Train songs are Drops of Jupiter and Hey Soul Sister!

Just lay on the floor!

So I've decided that the best way to listen to a song is to lay on the floor and stare at the ceiling while listening to it. And so far, my ultimate "laying on the floor" song is Azure Ray's song "Sleep". It's fantastic. I mean, the band is great, they've got this relaxed but deep thing going for them that I love. And it doesn't hit that their lyrics are my life put to music. "fill these spaces up with days, in my room, you can go you can stay. I can't sleep." I just love everything about it. So, if you're in the mood for some chill tunes, look up Azure Ray. You won't regret it! Well, unless you hate it, in which case I'd love to hear what your favorite "floor song" is! Goodnight!

That "touchy feely" stuff..

So, as i mentioned in my first post, I'm a bit of a music lover. To give you a little insight, I love music so much because it's an escape from well, everything. By a simple combination of chords and lyrics, it can make you feel in love, or carefree or it can even make you feel on top of the world. Music is something that you can get attached to without fear of rejection. It's a bestfriend who won't ever let you down. Some of my favorite songs can change my mood in an instant. Tonight I've been listening to the original "Love The Way You Lie" by Skyler Grey. It's the song that Eminem used the chorus of in his rendition of it. From eminems standpoint, it talks of and abusive relationship. But when I hear it, I hear it as more than that. It's almost like I hear it as someone who has been fighting a long battle with themself. And the struggle to keep your head above water, all the while keeping that front on so no one can see the broken person inside. I don't know if that will make sense to any of you people out in the world wide web.. But it's one of my favorite songs right now. And i guess that's another thing I love about music. There is no right or wrong.

Here goes nothing..

Hello there!
Really, typing that greeting may be pointless, because I don't even know if anyone will be reading this.. But in case someone is, I'm new to this whole "blog" thing, so take it easy. I'm just putting to words my thoughts, whether they be kind words about a song that made my day worthwhile or whether they be angry rants mumbled at this very screen when someone does an awful cover of my favorite band. (In case you haven't noticed, music is kind of my thing.) They say that a girls favorite song sometimes puts to words the thoughts she couldn't voice and if thats the case, you are in for an interesting ride. So enjoy it, maybe even put your hands up in the air like you're on a roller coaster or sing along when you know the song I'm blogging about. Whatever you choose to do, I hope this turns out as a worthwhile project! Thanks for reading! (: