Right now, I kind of just want to sleep for days. With Christmas quickly approaching, the same struggles of last year are coming back to me. It's going to be the second Christmas without my dad around.. What's hard is knowing he's only like 10 miles away, yet he doesn't want to see me or my brothers. That sucks. It doesnt help having nightmares of him showing up somewhere and having him holding hands of a child who is apparently his new family. Which, in real life he doesn't have. New family, as far as I know anyway. But to have recurring dreams of him forgetting about me altogether is hard. It's hard to stay positive. Especially when all my friends around me are happy and having great things happen for them right now. I want to be a good friend and support them. Because I am happy for them. My walls are just crumbling lately. And I'm having trouble staying afloat.
Okay.. I'll stop complaining now. I have to go to school tomorrow and paint a smile on my face... So I should probably get some rest. Acting is tiring..
Love you more..
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