Feelings..

Today I talked to a good friend about my feelings for a boy... And he, along with another friend, pointed out what I guess I knew was true from the start.. I just hadn't want to accept it until now I guess. I just, I know that this guy will most likely go for this other girl. And even if that doesn't work out, I have a sneaking suspicion in the depths of my heart that he still wouldn't choose me.. I feel like of he ever got the chance, he'd be with our really close mutual friend... And in my head, and my heart, I think it just kind of sucks that I'd still be second... You know, for once, I'd like to be someone's first choice. Someone's number one. I think right now, I need to just get over this situation, and just live like I want to live. I think I deserve to be happy. And I shouldn't let myself be put down. I think it's time things start changing for me.. Because lord knows this next year is going to be full of enough changes as it is..