Gahhh...

Today I've been a mess. And I sincerely apologize to all of my friends that have had to deal with me... Hopefully after Saturday I can return to my normal level of insanity... Tonight I saw one of the women who pretty much saved me last year when I was first going through some tough stuff. She picked me up and wouldn't let me fall. I owe a lot to her, and it was great to talk to her. I really want to actually get to sit and have a coke with her and just catch up. Because I haven't actually talked or seen her in quite a long time.. And I miss that. There's a lot about me now that she doesn't know. I wish I could be there for her daughters like I use to be. They are some of the sweetest girls I know. And even though they are young they are so fun to be around and very mature. But... I'm probably not the best person for them to be around anyway.. I don't make the best choices with myself. And I know they need a positive role model... But I still miss them. I hope the women who saved me wont be upset when she finds out who I've been.. I guess I'll find out. You know, she saved me from myself once, now Im realizing that it's terrifying that I know now that I'm the only one who can save myself... Psalm 138:7 "though I walk in the midst of trouble, You preserve my life. You stretch out your hand against the anger of my foes. With your right hand you save me." Ps. Tomorrow is prom. And I'm freaking out about it... It doesn't help that I feel like a beaches whale in my dress.. I need to get over that..