Redundant Redundant...

Do I repeat myself often on this thing? Because I feel as though I do. But then again, my life tends to be a big repetition of the same bleh all the time. "this fire is alive in your eyes. Well I can barely breathe and I can hear the dark hearts marching and I won't go down easily. Stay here by my side and we will be the last ones standing. So hold my hand and kiss me." now playing? Last One Standing by Hot chelle Rae. I really have decided that I should probably make some changes in this old life of mine. Because this path I'm on? Probably isn't the best for me. I would like to be healthy. Physically AND mentally/emotionally. This coming Friday I am supposed to be going to see the movie "The Lucky One" with two girls from the church I'm currently attending.. Honestly, I'm nervous. Because I'm somewhat of an extremely awkward person. And I don't really know them all that well... Just hoping that If I do go, I can act like a normal person and not make them think that I'm a freak or something. I guess I'll just have to wait and see on that. Tonight I'm wondering if people think I'm an open book. Am I easy to read? Is it easy to tell how I'm feeling? I wish I knew what people REALLY think about me.. Then again, I'm afraid that if I knew, I would dislike myself even more... So scratch that idea. On a side note, I'm trying to get closer to this guy that I though liked me... Petty, but I'm sure I'll find a way to screw this up.