If Only You Knew...

To the one who held me up but only while it was convenient to you. If only you knew how much you meant to me. I wonder if you'd change anything... Would you have been here for me if you knew everything? To the one that i told everything to but could never get inside your head.If only you knew that I miss the friendship we had last year. You were my best friend.. But you bailed on me. I know I didn't handle things the best but you completely left me when I was losing it. To the one that ive been friends with since birth. If only you knew that I worry about you day in and day out. I never want to lose you. But you seem to slip farther away each time we talk. You are better than the things you do. You deserve so much better. Please don't leave me? To the one that I let down this month because I can't handle all this. If I ly you knew how much I appreciate what you've done to help me. I owe a lot to you. And I am still trying to think of a way to thank you. To the one that gave me their heart but I couldn't return. I wish you knew how much I hate how I hurt you everytime I say no.. I truly never meant to hurt you. I just, didn't know how I needed to be. And I was too late. To my younger self. If only you knew that scars don't fade as fast as you may hope. That what you think about your looks and what others think of how you look are two totally different things. You shouldn't have tried to change.. I jus hope you know now that you are worth so much more than what people say about you. im Sorry that I let both of us down. And pushed so many people away. I could add more people to this list... But my eyes are burning as it is.. And I know that no one will read this anyway... Looks like its another night alone.